Kaye Larbi

[1953. Taken at a photographer’s studio in Stamford Hill when my father came to London for a short visit.]

 

1947 | Accra, Ghana and Barnet, UK | English & Ghanaian

We only lived as a genuine family for the first four or five years of my life. My parents never divorced but, nonetheless, spent much of their “married” life apart; my mother in the UK and my father in Ghana. They met when my Father was a post-graduate at University of Durham and my Mother was supervising women war workers at Wallsend Ship-Yards. My earliest years were spent in Ghana; mine was a highly privileged early childhood – regrettably however, I was never taught Twi so could only communicate in English. Although my skin was lighter than my playmates I never really considered myself to be different from those around me. My father was, to me at least, a rather remote figure – a successful barrister who ended up on the Ghanaian Supreme Court. Though not the oldest of his generation, his wealth and success made him the Head of the family (by which I mean the extended Ghanaian family).He took a keen interest in my academic prowess (or lack of it!) and played a major role in developing my love of football. He was a supporter of Manchester United and wanted me to support one of England’s great clubs – so I opted for Wolves (Wolverhampton Wanderers.) So that I could play regularly he even set up my own team and people in Accra to this day still recall it!  I don’t believe he gave much thought to my being mixed race – education and family were of greater importance to him. In fact I don’t recall either of my parents talking to me about my mixed heritage. My mother was ambitious both for her husband and her son; very self-confident and competent at anything to which she turned her hand. When I was around 5 years of age my mother and I returned to England where she raised me, with the help of my grandmother. I continued to visit Ghana up until the age of 10 and thereafter retained at least a vague connection with my Ghanaian family, some members of which moved over to live in the UK.  Aged 40 I returned after a long absence, was welcomed back into the bosom of the family and took out Ghanaian citizenship.

Growing up in England in the 50s and 60s meant that I moved in a very white environment. Over in Ghana my lighter skintone was not necessarily seen as a handicap - however over here there was this continual reminder that Africa was exotic and primitive and there was also a legacy from popular literature that “half-castes” were treacherous, dishonest and degenerate! I can remember people asking me in all good faith whether when in Africa, I would have to put my ear to the ground to listen to messages from afar! Two memories stand out for me from my childhood in the UK around race: I remember being about 5 or 6, standing on our doorstep waiting for my mother and a group of children gathering and chanting “Nigger” at me. When she arrived the children rapidly dispersed and she simply told me to pity them as they knew no better! I also remember being in a dispute with another pupil when I was at Grammar School aged about 15 – he ended up calling me ” a bad-tempered Gollywog” which even back then amused rather than annoyed me! It was only when I was 18 or so that I became conscious of the fact that I was not simply a different colour to most people but that I was also some kind of dubious hybrid! I can recall during that time one particular Thursday evening when I was watching “Top of the Pops” - a new band came on and blew me and much of my generation away – The Jimi Hendrix Experience! My life was never the same again as overnight from being an oddity I became highly fashionable!

I have always been proud to be mixed race but to some extent I have always considered myself, or rather felt myself to be, something of an outsider. Perhaps that is why these days I feel so much at home in Latin America – by and large we’re all mestizos together! In mainstream media, I believe that we are still frequently portrayed in a questionable light – it’s a joke in our household that if a mixed race character appears in a soap they will prove to be worthless if not positively psychopathic!  I do feel however that nowadays there is probably a much greater acceptance of mixed identity – I well remember when society regarded us as basically undesirable; “unadoptable material” as I recall one mixed race infant being described.

 I believe that my mixed identity has ensured that I harbour no prejudices with regards to race, religion, social status etc...and can communicate quite effectively with people from all walks of life and circumstances.  I consider myself to be a cosmopolitan -  a citizen of the world. The future belongs to us! (or so I would like to believe!)

[2019. On holiday in Pont de Barca, Portugal with my eldest daughter, Eleanor and my grand-daughter, Maya]